At Home

I thought this blog was going to be about Broome, my wonderful week long stay in remote far north Western Australia.

I found the most perfect photo to illustrate the vibrant colour of sea and sky, but the blog wouldn’t come. It felt like a travelogue or a crowing, the writing version of a ‘slide night’.

I want to write about being home, about now. It’s very early in the morning, I’ve just come in from my garden and I still have dirt between my toes and under my fingernails . . . I garden bare footed. I love the feeling underfoot, I can sense how warm or moist the soil is from my shallow roots on earth. Since returning from Broome we have had four days over 34C (93F) so I have watered and mulched this morning ahead of another scorcher . . . and I just can’t go back . . . and it feels wonderful to be here now . . . as it did in Broome when I was there.

The rabbit found a hole and ate all my bean seedlings, so I replanted eight more hard white beans. They will sprout with in days. I mended the tear in the netting and pulled more thistles out. The geese arrived and demanded seed, so I threw it to them and it lifted and spread in the breeze, so now I can hear Cockies and Choughs squabbling over the remains. Everyone else is still asleep except the birds and me. It’s not still; the trees are waving in a strong cool breeze. It’s not quiet; the birds are making the most extraordinary racket. I want to say I feel still and quiet, but really what I feel is at home. I feel at home. It’s not the place, it’s the awareness of being here now. I’m sorry I missed the opportunity to share Broome with you when I was at home there!

Now I’ll shower and go to the Farmers market for the best soy latte in the world, the ritual that marks the beginning/end of my week. I’ll talk to strangers and neighbours. I’ll yarn and trade with the honey man, and Alf the former wharfie who makes delicious strawberry jam, and Bill who sells ‘cosmetic’ raw milk (didn’t you know it’s great to bath in . . . of course once you have bought it, you can do what ever you like with it!) Maybe I’ll find a spectacular hat for the Greens garden party this afternoon.

Ahhhh and all the while the hard white beans will be doing their magic, that I am just a little part of.

P.S I couldn’t part with the photo of Broome . . . .

Meaning

Meaning is not something you stumble across, like the answer to a riddle or the prize in a treasure hunt. Meaning is something you build into your life. You build it out of your own past, out of your affections and loyalties, out of the experience of humankind as it is passed on to you, out of your own talent and understanding, out of the things you believe in, out of the things and people you love, out of the values for which you are willing to sacrifice something. The ingredients are there. You are the only one who can put them together into that unique pattern that will be your life. Let it be a life that has dignity and meaning for you. If it does, then the particular balance of success or failure is of less account.

~ John Gardner

Goose Update

Just a goose update! I think I had mentioned a few weeks ago that the geese were missing and that I was missing them. Well it turns out it was that spring thing again! It appears that Whitey's aggressive attitude and Collies 'walk about' were connected and biological. She is sitting on eggs outside the neighbor's bathroom window and Whitey is doing his protective thing. So every day we wait to see if she brings back goslings, and keep a look out for Felix the aging fox who lurks at night.
Still waiting . . .

Social Artistry

I was sent this quote from Jean Houston, which I found relevant to both my inner and outer life.

"We find ourselves at the end of one era, and not yet at the beginning of a new one. We are caught in a parenthesis between the reluctance to leave what was, and the terror before what is yet to be. Some of us have subsided into lives of serial monotony, while others risk all for sensation at any cost. And still a vision beckons. We are the citizens of closing times, and this makes us pioneers of opening time, bridge builders and architects, the ones who will make it happen. In this, our vision and guidance is essential for these are the times, and we are the people."

So I did a quick google on Jean Houston http://www.jeanhouston.org/index.html and found that she is a US scholar, and philosopher, considered to be one of the foremost visionary thinkers and doers of our time, and one of the principal founders of the Human Potential Movement and of The Institute of Social Artistry.

Which then lead me to this information about Social Artistry. http://www.socialartistryinstitute.org

Social Artistry is an emerging discipline in leadership development. It taps inherent human capacities for greater imagination, compassion, and resolve. The discipline integrates science and intellectual development, using multiple styles of thinking, expanding skills for contemporary leadership challenges, and applying these skills to complex social issues.
Social Artistry training is intellectually and personally challenging, merging the development of personal capacities and potential with strong leadership skills for social change by:

• Expanding intellectual capacity leading to new skills for systems thinking, strategic planning, problem-solving, effective action and continuous learning.

• Strengthening participatory approaches, partnership building, gender mainstreaming and human-rights-based approaches

• Enhancing personal will, courage, imagination, initiative, and energy.

• Appreciation for a culture’s story, norms, wisdom and insights into achieving the MDGs

Social Artists are leaders in many fields who bring the same order of passion and skill that an artist brings to his or her art form, to the canvas of our social reality. Ultimately, it is about all of us together co-creating the human and social changes needed to make a better world.

Making Time . . . Power hours

From Satoriswing at Vibrant Nation http://www.vibrantnation.com/
I really think our age group has a lot to offer, be it fiction, nonfiction, novels, short stories, magazine articles, whatever one wants to do. In days gone by, it was the old time storytellers who gave direction, not by wagging their fingers and telling everyone they screwed up, but by telling stories with a not so obvious moral. They can be fun stories. They can be serious. They can be raunchy, or they can be religiously written. It doesn't matter. There is so much potential here with all of us, that it excites me. Let's all do something.
One suggestion to get someone unstuck or help a person get past the roadblocks we all put up is to force oneself to sit for 10 minutes everyday in one place, before a computer terminal or with a tablet. For ten minutes you can't do anything else. You can't get up and go potty. You can't answer the phone. You can't get up and get coffee. You have to sit there and try to think about writing. Put words to the page - gobbledygoop is okay. The words don't have to make sense at all. Brainstorm. Put down incomplete sentences about nothing important or everything important. It doesn't matter. The point is to do this every day, without fail for 10 minutes. That's how I started my first book. I had to force myself. I had to teach myself to have the discipline. A little at a time what I wrote down had meaning. A little at a time I started devoting more time to it, until I could write most of the day. I suggest you try this and see how it works for you.

NaNoWriMo

Do you know about NaNoWriMo? It stands for National Novel Writing Month and is is a fun, unorthodox, seat-of-pants approach to writing. Participants begin writing November 1. The goal is to write a 175-page (50,000-word) novel by midnight, November 30.

I've thought about doing it for years. This year I've signed up! Anyone want to join me? I love the concept because I think it models how I want to live my life . . . taking risks, making mistakes, to live without stressing about quality, about getting over being the best and just 'being'!

Here's the excerpt from the website describing what it's all about: (and for more info check out http://www.nanowrimo.org/ )

"Because of the limited writing window, the ONLY thing that matters in NaNoWriMo is output. It's all about quantity, not quality. The kamikaze approach forces you to lower your expectations, take risks, and write on the fly.

Make no mistake: You will be writing a lot of crap. And that's a good thing. By forcing yourself to write so intensely, you are giving yourself permission to make mistakes. To forgo the endless tweaking and editing and just create. To build without tearing down.

As you spend November writing, you can draw comfort from the fact that, all around the world, other National Novel Writing Month participants are going through the same joys and sorrows of producing the Great Frantic Novel. Wrimos meet throughout the month to offer encouragement, commiseration, and—when the thing is done—the kind of raucous celebrations that tend to frighten animals and small children.

In 2007, we had over 100,000 participants. More than 15,000 of them crossed the 50k finish line by the midnight deadline, entering into the annals of NaNoWriMo superstardom forever. They started the month as auto mechanics, out-of-work actors, and middle school English teachers. They walked away novelists.

So, to recap:

What: Writing one 50,000-word novel from scratch in a month's time.

Who: You! We can't do this unless we have some other people trying it as well. Let's write laughably awful yet lengthy prose together.

Why: The reasons are endless! To actively participate in one of our era's most enchanting art forms! To write without having to obsess over quality. To be able to make obscure references to passages from our novels at parties. To be able to mock real novelists who dawdle on and on, taking far longer than 30 days to produce their work.

When: You can sign up anytime to add your name to the roster and browse the forums. Writing begins November 1. To be added to the official list of winners, you must reach the 50,000-word mark by November 30 at midnight. Once your novel has been verified by our web-based team of robotic word counters, the partying begins."

http://www.nanowrimo.org/

Persistance

The first writing retreat I ever planned to facilitate was scheduled for November 2001 in San Miguel, Mexico. I was very nervous. Would enough women want to come? Was it priced attractively? Was my Spanish up to it? Would the villa and staff work out? Well with the support of a some great writing buddies, seven women signed up and paid to come. It was very heady, and still I worried . . . was I good enough, did I know what I was doing? What I didn't worry about . . . what never crossed my mind was that two airplanes would crash into The World Trade Center three weeks before, that the borders would close, airlines would virtually go broke and people would be terrified to travel. Every single woman canceled. I refunded every dollar, but (largely because of the financial uncertainty at the time) the owners of the mexican villa invoked the cancellation policy and kept my full payment. I was burned. It hurt.

So today is Saturday the 17th of October, and I am not at the Women's Writing Retreat in Castlemaine that I'd planned. As those of you who registered know, I have re-scheduled the retreat as a result of two late cancellations. I'm feeling a little flat as I was looking forward to it, particularly meeting wonderful new writing women, hearing new voices and new stories, and of course it has dredged up some discomfort of previous experiences!

HOWEVER . . . the next retreat is scheduled for March 19, 20 & 21, 2010. There are currently 12 people interested so I'm feeling confident the March one will fly. I do have lots of experience in persistence.

Some time after the dust settled in 2001 women started asking about the Mexico retreat. It took three years before I could muster the resilience to try again. The first thing I did was call to see if the Villa was available and what the price was now. No one answered the phone and I took that as a sign that I shouldn't move forward. I let it go. A week later I came home from work to a voice message from Mexico that said the dates were available ,and had been locked in for me . . . and they were so happy that I was finally using the credit that they had been holding since 2001! It went ahead, it was amazing.

So the wonderful Mauro at the Midland is doing the same, holding our deposit for a March 2010 retreat . . . please pass the word around . . . and put it in your diaries.

And this weekend is probably a great time for me to acknowledge patience, persistence and passion . . . keeping connected to the excitement and adventure of what you really love. I'm off to a Bushlands Bash, where half a dozen or so of my female neighbors get together to eat, laugh, and tell stories. We are all over 50, independent, love sharing and hearing each others stories and experiences, we are all examining 'what matters' post kids and partners (they are still there . . . in many cases . . . just not at the top of the list anymore!) So when the retreat door closed this weekend the Bushlands Bash opened up . . . I'll take my passion there!

Radio

Hey I was on the radio yesterday! I've always dreamed of having a radio show. Maybe it goes back to my childhood, sitting around the kitchen table listening to 'The Argonauts' or 'Dad and Dave' . . . anyway I've always fancied being on the radio, and I did it!

I was a little bit scared and a little bit excited . . . that lovely edge of something new. Our local community radio WMA 107.5 in Castlemaine was looking for volunteers to train as announcers, so my friend Pat and I signed up. At the moment we are making community announcements and introducing music, mostly oldies from the sixties and seventies. However I'm hoping I'll graduate to an evening spot where I can play music of my own choice and talk about womens issues, particularly about self care and sustainability.

It feels like spring. Right outside my office window is a large iron box tree with a broken limb, and in the hollow of the limb is a kookaburra sitting on its nest of eggs. Her mate keeps watch and laughing hysterically from time to time as kookaburras do. It makes me feel happy and laugh too.

What are you doing that's new this week, what are you hatching?

Womens Writing Retreat

If you haven’t already been sent an invitation for the writing retreat in Castlemaine October 16-18, 2009here it is.

TO REGISTER IT IS IMPORTANT TO GO TO

http://www.meetup.com/Womens-Writing-Retreat/

WHO: I’m looking for ten writing women, to share a fabulous old hotel ‘with a twist’, wonderful meals, voices, laughter and silences. Perhaps you dream of writing but don’t know where to start, or you already write but struggle to find time or motivation.

WHAT: This retreat gives you the opportunity to put you, and your writing first. We use ‘writing practice’, a method developed by Natalie Goldberg. In this process there is no critical feedback, just writing and reading. We simply go deeply into the writing experience inspired by the community we create to take risks we would never take alone.

WHERE: The Midland http://www.themidland.com.au/ is a small family run hotel in the Central Victorian Goldfields town of Castlemaine. It is directly opposite the train station making it a convenient and affordable journey from Melbourne. http://www.vline.com.au/index.aspx?sid=0

WHY: To write, daydream and be pampered, to be with other women writers and hear your voice amongst theirs

WHEN: October 15- 18, 2009

FACILITATOR: Sandra Watson is a Castlemaine resident who has facilitated writing groups and retreats around the world most recently in Mexico and Connecticut USA. She does not teach writing, but has a passion for bringing together women and creating a space for creativity and change.

COST: $450 for a single room/shared bathroom for the weekend, inclusive of all food. All fees are refundable up to two weeks before the retreat minus a $35 processing fee - they are not refundable after that. If you cancel the day before the retreat you are responsible for the entire cost of the weekend. You are responsible for your own travel arrangements

REMEMBER TO REGISTER GO TO

http://www.meetup.com/Womens-Writing-Retreat/

Out of the ICF conference

It’s been two weeks since I returned from the Australasian ICF conference in Adelaide. I came back enthusiastic, inspired, and bubbling over with ideas. So many in fact that I quickly moved into overwhelm and what I call ‘splashing around in the shallows’! Anyway the eddying seems to have steadied and has left me with a couple of thoughts and resources I want to share.

The theme of the conference was ‘Creating Future Stories Together- personal responsibility, professional viability, global sustainability’. There was a fair amount of criticism of the theme, many people believing that it was not a coach specific topic. Registrations were down and the jury is still out on whether it was a result of the GFC or the theme of the conference. For me, I signed up as soon as it was announced. It hit two live spots in me, story & sustainability.

The opening keynote speaker was Bob Randall an indigenous Australian and great storyteller who rekindled the fire in me around the power of story. It’s our oldest form of passing on knowledge! Who are our current storytellers? What are the stories we are being told? It’s possible it could be television? What new stories do we need to create that give resource and hope in our current situation?

Another of our keynote speakers, Richard Hames, asked this powerful question. ‘What are you willing to do that you will not see the fruition of in your lifetime, but will allow your great grandchildren to meet their needs?’ He was saying we have to be willing to stand for something now that we will not see the result of in our life time, that we need to rewrite the ‘story’ we are told in our current culture of instant gratification, and ME, NOW.

So I’m left with that question, ‘what seeds do I want to plant for the future?’ I want to ask you that question too. I want to ask you to help write that new story, even if we may not see its end.

Here are some links to a couple of our key note speakers:

Richard Hames
http://www.richardhames.com/html/aboutus.html
Margaret Wheatley
http://www.margaretwheatley.com/index.html
Bob Randall
http://www.kanyini.com/subject.html
John Seed
http://www.rainforestinfo.org.au/deep-eco/jsbio.htm

Hope

To quote Vaclev Havel, "Hope, is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense regardless of how it turns out."

We need to have the certainty that something makes sense NO MATTER HOW IT TURNS OUT.

Inspired by Margaret Wheatley keynote speaker at the recent Australasian International Coaches Federation Conference. . . . More to follow!

Wild Geese

WILD GEESE by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting--
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Don’t Break The Chain

http://dontbreakthechain.com

What is it? A unique free motivational calendar. If you are a visual learner, this might be a great tool for you.

The Short Version:

1. Pick a goal.
2. Mark off the days on which you work toward that goal.
3. Use your chain of marked off days as a motivator.

The Longer Version: courtesy of Brad Isaac .

Years ago when Seinfeld was a new television show, Jerry Seinfeld was still a touring comic. At the time, I was hanging around clubs doing open mic nights and trying to learn the ropes. One night I was in the club where Seinfeld was working, and before he went on stage, I saw my chance. I had to ask Seinfeld if he had any tips for a young comic. What he told me was something that would benefit me a lifetime...

He said the way to be a better comic was to create better jokes and the way to create better jokes was to write every day. But his advice was better than that. He had a gem of a leverage technique he used on himself and you can use it to motivate yourself—even when you don't feel like it.

He revealed a unique calendar system he uses to pressure himself to write. Here's how it works.

He told me to get a big wall calendar that has a whole year on one page and hang it on a prominent wall. The next step was to get a big red magic marker. He said for each day that I do my task of writing; I get to put a big red X over that day. "After a few days you'll have a chain. Just keep at it and the chain will grow longer every day. You'll like seeing that chain, especially when you get a few weeks under your belt. Your only job next is to not break the chain."

"Don't break the chain," he said again for emphasis.

Over the years I've used his technique in many different areas. I've used it for exercise, to learn programming, to learn network administration, to build successful websites and build successful businesses.

It works because it isn't the one-shot pushes that get us where we want to go, it is the consistent daily action that builds extraordinary outcomes. You may have heard "inch by inch anything's a cinch." Inch by inch does work if you can move an inch every day.

Daily action builds habits. It gives you practice and will make you an expert in a short time. If you don't break the chain, you'll start to spot opportunities you otherwise wouldn't. Small improvements accumulate into large improvements rapidly because daily action provides "compounding interest."

Skipping one day makes it easier to skip the next.

I've often said I'd rather have someone who will take action—even if small—every day as opposed to someone who swings hard once or twice a week. Seinfeld understands that daily action yields greater benefits than sitting down and trying to knock out 1000 jokes in one day.

Think for a moment about what action would make the most profound impact on your life if you worked it every day. That is the action I recommend you put on your Seinfeld calendar. Start today and earn your big red X. And from here on out...

Don't break the chain!

Brad Isaac a lead software programmer. You can read his motivational strategies every day on his goal setting blog, Achieve-IT!

Gratitude

I’m just back from Adelaide, where I spent a few days with my Dad. I lucked out. I got a great family. My parents always shared their opinions, but never assumed I would adopt them, never told me what to do. It was my passport to a journey of positive risk taking. My safety net was the myriad family voices, soft and strong, meshed and whispering ‘You can do it, you can do it, there’s no failure only learning. You can do it’

My Dad has always been rather cautious, a deep thoughtful man who considers every aspect of a problem before making a decision. He is shy, observant and very wise. He is softly spoken and doesn’t like conflict. When I was thirteen he saw in me the same shyness, soft spoken withdrawing nature, and he asked me to do something for him, something he just didn’t have in him but if he could change anything about himself , this was the thing he would have changed. He asked me to find my voice, to speak for him. He asked me to enter a speaking competition and wrote my first speech for me. Having signed me up and given me his version of the speech, he set me free. He put me out in the woolshed paddock to practice, having me project my voice above the sound of bleating sheep. I scared the heck out of him. I tore up his speech and found my own words, my own voice.

Last weekend, at 84 and the oldest surviving sibling of 9, my Dad spoke at his sisters 80th birthday. He is still so softly spoken that the party was stilled to silence to hear him. He said how he would rather have catered the party than have to speak. But speak he did, taking the risk surrounded by family and modelling what he dreamed for me 40 years ago.

Breakfasting here this morning I am infused with gratitude. I lucked out.

Missing Geese

There were no geese this morning. No rat-tat- at- tat on the glass doors downstairs to wake me up. No geese yesterday either, I think they have gone. Perhaps the fox finally outwitted them, or they tried to cross the highway again . . . the perils of free-range geese!

They weren’t even my geese. They just walked in from nowhere about 8 months ago and started banging at my windows, so I fed them thinking it would stop the incessant noise. It didn't work and they have been banging on my windows waking me up and wanting to be fed ever since. I didn’t really like them. I didn’t like the mess they made, poohing outside my back door, and destroying my planter boxes, leaving me to pick up millions of little white polystyrene balls out of my garden. When I slept in or ignored their demands for food they would maliciously swipe precious blossoms and the tiny forming fruits from my lemon trees. They had become increasingly more aggressive, hissing and scaring Jojo, my grandson, and then last week Whitie (yes they have names now) started running at me when my back was turned and pecked me on the behind.

I didn’t like them, that was my official line. I spent hours complaining about them, cleaning up after them, building fences, figuring out how to catch them and where to relocate them. Friends would email with suggestions, the most common being . . . ‘Stop feeding them!’ . . . but I suspect doing that was what lead Whitie to start biting me.

I have slept in two mornings in a row and I have to admit it, although I didn’t like them, I miss my alarm clocks and complaining about them. I miss going down stairs and tapping back on the window to tell them to wait while I put the kettle on, take my vitamins, do my wake up and balance exercises while they are honking and tellingme to hurry up. I miss the routine of banging on the lid of their wheat tin as I pass it to check the rain gauge and get an armful of fire wood. I miss reminding them who’s boss and whose life comes first while I’m stacking the wood and then finally feed them. I get a little pang when I think they won’t be here for the children. I don’t get to be Nanna and Ophelia is cheated of her big sister role in protecting and shooing the geese away from Jojo.

By late this afternoon I’ve found myself fleetingly wondering where I could get another pair of geese. In order to prevent myself from being rash, I’ve decided to write this instead. Ahhh change! It’s bitter sweet.

Walk Your Talk

I’m a great talker, I love words and storytelling. But I have come to understand that my greatest ‘strengths’ have a shadow side and can also be my greatest ‘weaknesses’.

I often talk more about the idea of what I’m going to do or how to do it, than actually doing it.

One of the endless conversations I have is about exercise. I live in the bush surrounded by wild beauty, exotic plants, cockatoos and rosellas, kangaroos and wallabies. I have wonderful neighbours who ride their horses or wander through by foot to say hello. I share with great animation how idyllic this lifestyle is, but rarely do the wandering or riding myself! I have at least verbally committed to a couple of ideas that would motivate me to move without it feeling like exercise. Such as walking the two kilometres to M’s to get my eggs and milk, and promising to share my Saturday newspaper by walking over and leaving it with H. Maybe now I’ve posted this I’ll feel more committed . . . and do it.

Mulling this stuff around in my mind made me think of the adage ‘Walk your Talk’ and I dreamed and talked up a great idea. What if instead of doing my coaching sessions by phone, or occasionally in a local café, I did them while walking! How great would that be . . . I never make excuses for not turning up for a client. I love my work . . . how about I walk while I do it! I could even cancel my gym fees.

So I did my first walking coaching session last Thursday. It really works. It’s great to breathe and stretch and move, in the body as well the mind. There is a beautiful balance between the head, the heart and the lungs and muscles, and it is so very refreshing to know that with every step . . . you are doing it . . . walking your talk.

Playing Safe

‘What safety nets are you relying upon and how much are they sabotaging you from reaching your full potential in career and business? Have a think about removing a few of them and allowing your success to unfold - you might just surprise yourself.’ Lynette L Palmen

Great question and thought! Here is the full article taken from The Womens Network.

Today I've been shopping for reward where reward is due. I purchased a new computer keyboard and didn't remove the lettering. Let me explain - over the last few years whilst interviewing young women for clerical positions at our office, it has become painfully obvious that leaving school with an ability to touch type with any level of accuracy is no longer a priority. Sure they can text message 'til the cows come home - but accurately type, well that's a whole different story.
Determined not to be guilty of adding to the 'touch typing deficit disorder' gene pool, I decided to tackle this issue head on with my own daughter Maddison who has just turned 12. What I implemented was a very simple technique that I have used over the years to expand my own business expertise and knowledge. I simply took away the safety net that was hindering her potential by removing all lettering from the keyboard on her computer. And, as would be expected, one year later she is a touch typist. Her reward after mastering this skill? The new keyboard I purchased today whilst out shopping, but she wasn't that fussed when I presented it to her - says she doesn't need to see them now!
You see, if we are really interested in accessing something, and in Maddison's case it was playing Club Penguin, Pet Society and chatting to her friends on msn, we will learn the 'how to' of getting there.
What safety nets are you relying upon and how much are they sabotaging you from reaching your full potential in career and business? Have a think about removing a few of them and allowing your success to unfold - you might just surprise yourself.

Lynette L Palmen
Founder and Managing Director
Women's Network Australia
T: 1800 052 476
E: lynette@womensnetwork.com.au
W: www.womensnetwork.com.au

Path With a Heart

She said she had arrived here, in this place, in this small town because of the night. The woman is small and tight lipped and precise, and locks herself behind her own doors. She edits her own life. But I want to prise open the doors, find her keys, see those lips soften. I sit across her table after she’s found her keys unlocked the door and let me in. I sit with a straight back matching her body language. Our sentences are choppy. I’m hesitant looking for the right words, feeling the need to be precise, exact, to the point.

But inside I’m a bubbling brook, spilling all over the place. My curiosity is running into the crevasses. I want to slouch, I want to lean in I want to ask . . . so I ask . . . How did you get here? What brought you here? Things stop, as if some rehearsed orbit has been halted. No answer. Did she hear? Her eyes are bright, waiting for her voice to catch up with her mind. I hear the train whistle, magpies warble a dog bark, and I do lean in, my elbows on the table.

The night she says. I was visiting someone here once and I wandered outside at night to look at the stars. When I looked at the night sky, I decided I would move here. Mouth soft now, speechless, no more to say . . . and I think of plans and paths, decisions and directions and how I said to Ophelia ‘you’re a star’ and she said back to me with a huge beam . . . Nanna you are the moon. How doany of us get here?

From Deciding to Doing

Five frogs are sitting on a log. Four decide to jump off. How many are left? Answer: five. Why? Because there's a difference between deciding and doing.

Statistics from the American Society for Training and Development show that the likelihood of a person attaining a goal (moving from deciding to doing) breaks down as follows:

Hear an idea -10%
Consciously decide to adopt an idea - 25%
Decide when they will do it - 40%
Plan how they will do it - 50%
Commit to someone else that they’ll do it - 65%
And when they have a specific accountability appointment with the person they have committed to – 95% actually achieve the goal.

Honestly

I don’t know where to start this story, so I’ll just start with today. It’s 8am and I’m sitting on my green leather sofa, cup of tea in hand looking out my north facing windows at the oblique winter sun bathing the Chewton bush. The geese are banging their beaks like machine guns against the window pane. I refuse to be terrorized by them, they have been fed. White frost still sits in the shadows, perhaps their water has frozen over, or they have forgotten they are geese and want to come in like any other neighbour and sit by my fire.

So it’s just like any other morning, but it’s this morning. I’m doing what I do most mornings, exercising my habit of drinking tea and writing. I have been writing for 40 minutes now. First in my journal then I change note books and now I’m writing in my blog book. Yes, I like to do first drafts by hand in pencil (a papermate sharpwriter to be exact), then I edit as I put it on the computer. But like every other morning for a long time I have talked myself out of moving from page to screen. Like every other morning in EIGHT MONTHS! Can you believe it? Mmmmm me the coach!

You see I have dug my self into this huge secret hole that I just can’t seem to get out of. It started off with delaying the first follow up blog entries by just a day or two, which ran into a couple of weeks. I laughed and complained about it and asked for tips and hints. I took classes on blogging and social networking, bought books on marketing and found a great website on procrastination. Then it was a month or more and I stopped mentioning it. I played every game in the book with myself. I stopped giving people my web address. I said my site was under construction; it kind of was and besides no one would ever know. I told myself ‘You don’t really need it’ you are getting great referrals anyway. ‘Technology is over rated, face to face human contact is more your thing.’ ‘You are more authentic this way.’

I never stopped writing or having ideas, or wanting to share them, they just didn’t make it to the public domain. So what stopped me? All the usual things I think, a fear of not being good enough, fear of what others will think, of not pleasing everyone, a fear of being seen and heard, of not knowing what voice to use.

But if you are reading and relating to this story you are probably more interested in a different question. What got me on the screen today? What moved me? What got me unstuck? To be honest . . . being honest with myself. Being willing to look at exactly what is right now, not make excuses for it, not justify it, not judge it, and get on with it. To get my feet wet and my hands dirty and to not care too much how I look. Why today? Because it got too painful, used up too much energy and I paid attention to that instead of making excuses for it.

The sun has gone behind grey cloud and its lightly raining. I’m looking out at a gash in the hill between me and the bush. It looks ugly and torn. I miss what was there before the excavator came last weekend. But that gash is where my fruit trees are going this winter. This is how it looks now, how it needs to look before the bare rooted trees grow leaves.

Powerful question

Where am I not telling the truth?
What’s the pay off for not telling the truth?
How would my life be different if I told the truth?